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| You have trodden in: Home > News | 12th October |
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 Royal Family to publish own newspaper18 June 2004 by Malcolm Drury
Buckingham Palace is to publish its own newspaper, DeadBrain has learned. The Royal Family has had a string of run-ins with the press in recent months, including an incident in which an alleged newspaper, the Daily Mirror, was able to plant a reporter in Buckingham Palace and subsequently report on matters the family would have preferred to have kept secret, such as how many servants it takes to deliver a tray. The latest incident, which garnered an apology from another alleged newspaper, the Mail on Sunday, was an allegedly false story that Prince William had been hunting in Kenya and had speared a deer.
Douglas Ramsbottom, a Palace spokesman, condemned the story as an outrageous intrusion on the Prince's privacy and said the Royal Family has finally had enough of the press and its irresponsible reporting on what they really do with the public's money, and has decided the best approach is "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em", and so has decided to publish its own newspaper to present the news from its point of view. He said that plans were still in the early stages, but it looked like it will be a weekly paper, probably published on Sundays. He said several features are under consideration, including Aunty Barbara's advice to the lovelorn, a column on trends and issues in international diplomacy, written by Prince Philip, and an organic gardening column by Prince Charles. Prince Charles will also be responsible for editorial comment given his extensive experience in that area; for a column on holiday resorts; and, under the name "Sultan Carlos", for horoscopes. Prince Edward will report on business affairs and Princess Anne will write on sports (restricted to horse jumping) and fashion. The Queen will be editor-in-chief, and will also be responsible for the "Letters to the Editor" page and the classified advertisements section. Mr Ramsbottom said that no meaningful role has yet been identified for Prince Andrew, but he might be given a roving "man about town" brief to report on the latest trends in the world of clubs and the jet set. He added that the Palace hoped to have the first issue out by the autumn, in tabloid format, with an on-line version to be launched shortly afterwards. Neither Conrad "Lord" Blackadder nor Rupert Murdoch was available for comment. The former alleged newspaper editor, Piers Morgan, was available for both comment and work, but it is understood that his talents will not be called upon. Related Articles Daily Mirror denies involvement in latest palace intrusion 18 May 2004
Prince Philip arrested after attempting to shoot artist30 May 2004
Royal Family to be vetted in security drive16 Apr 2004
Buckingham Palace cancels Sun subscription2 Apr 2004
Prince Philip in peasant-shooting row16 Jan 2004
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