| |
Downing Street property bubble to burst?
Speculation over Tony Blair's future as prime minister was this weekend fuelled by a property advertisement spotted by one of our readers in the window of Westminster estate agents Ramsbottom & Co.
Flagged "New Instruction" it reads:
Rarely available period townhouse, refurbished to a high standard throughout and offering deceptively spacious and flexible accommodation to all floors. The property can be found conveniently located within the sought after gated community of Downing Street in the heart of the vibrant and bustling community of London's Whitehall. Boasting a wealth of the very latest in security features custom-designed and installed by one of the country's leading experts, an early viewing is a must. No onward chain.
Asking price £45,000,000 o.n.o Gregory Mullet (19), a senior negotiator with the firm, told DeadBrain yesterday that the property, currently the home of an unnamed leading political figure, had unexpectedly come onto the market due to the owner's forthcoming relocation to Brazil in order to take up a new post as an asylum seeker. Mullet revealed that there had already been "significant market interest", including an offer from a Mr. Hussein who recently sold his compact yet affordable hole in the ground near Tikrit for the equivalent of £45 million to an aspirational former head of the JIC. However, Mr. Hussein's offer has been turned down, since it was made subject to a specialist survey to check for signs of WMD infestation.
Next-door-neighbour Gordon Brown, a mature student at the LSE, indicates that buyers do not seem to have been put off by the responsibilities inherent in occupying such a prestige address. Interviewed today in his well-appointed study cum 11th bedroom boasting contemporary décor and south-easterly aspect, Brown reports seeing a "pimply youth" escorting in a whole procession of celebrity would-be buyers including Gordon Ramsay, Wayne Rooney, Osama bin Laden, Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen, and a recent evictee from Big Brother, doubtless seeking a new residence. However, an overheard conversation revealed that bin Laden was far from impressed with the property, since its relatively small garden did not offer him sufficient space for certain outdoor "educational facilities" he was planning to bring across to the UK.
According to a local police constable who happened to be standing around outside No. 10 today, "any of those punters would be better than that lying smug-faced [expletive deleted]". He also added that Brown had "flogged off" his own property to a certain Mr. Nick Leeson, and repeated his sentiments as to the resulting improvement to national affairs.
Log in to read/write comments on this article
Have you seen this?
|
|
