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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Tony Blair |
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| You just spat on: Home > News | 6th October |
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 Metropolitan Police seek B-Man and Boy Wonder to assist with bogus BatmanBREAKING NEWS | 13 Sep 2004 by Malcolm Drury
In the last half hour Metropolitan police have called upon B-Man, the mysterious masked Caped Crusader and his even more mysterious assistant, David, the Boy Wonder, to help them deal with a Fathers 4 Justice campaigner dressed as Batman who has got past armed guards, gained access to a balcony at Buckingham Palace and unfurled a banner saying: "Super Dads of Fathers 4 Justice" and "Fighting for your right to your kids". The balcony is the very one from which the members of the Royal Family occasionally appear before the masses who gather during great State occasions, such as when one of the Family gets married or divorced, to pay homage and obeisance.Superintendent Douglas Ramsbottom of the Metropolitan Police told our reporter that the police have had difficulty in dealing with the situation as they are unsure how to categorise it for the purpose of reporting on targets and statistics, and so have put out an appeal over radio and television for help from B-Man and his assistant. The Caped Crusader, who wears a red spandex outfit, emblazoned with a large B on the chest, and a black cape with the words "Vote Labour", has not been seen since his first appearance in July, when he announced that he would be tackling crime as a personal crusade. There have been unsubstantiated rumours that a man bearing a striking resemblance to him has been spotted hanging around a number of exclusive private international residences in recent weeks. Superintendent Ramsbottom said he hoped the crusading duo would respond to the appeal, as the police are unsure of what to do next. The Queen and Prince Philip are presently at Balmoral and are not considered to be in any danger other than that normally prevalent in Scotland. A spokesman there, speaking on condition of strict anonymity, told our reporter that upon learning of the incident Prince Philip had had to be physically restrained as he had attempted to take over a helicopter, saying he was going to fly back to London and "shoot the bugger" and adding that nobody but him and the missus should be allowed on the balcony wearing fancy dress. Related Articles Royal Family to publish own newspaper 18 June 2004
Daily Mirror denies involvement in latest palace intrusion18 May 2004
Prince Philip arrested after attempting to shoot artist30 May 2004
Royal Family to be vetted in security drive16 Apr 2004
Buckingham Palace cancels Sun subscription2 Apr 2004
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