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Satirists disillusioned with party conferences, look to Tories for better material
Satirists in the UK have become disillusioned with this year's annual party conferences, and suggest that unless the Tories can pull something out of the hat next month, 2004 will go down as one of the worst years ever for useable material.
Gregory T. Mullet, president of British Association of Satirists, Taunters, Allegorists, Ridiculers, Deriders and Spoofers (BASTARDS), told our reporter that the Lib Dem conference was a let down and the New, Improved Labour one looks like being the same. He said that the only thing that could remotely be considered as material for satirising from the Lib Dems was their belief that they would form the next government. However, as he noted, that concept had crossed the line from satire to fantasy. As for Labour, he said, the Prime Minister's admission that he is not a wobbler came close to being useable, but it paled in comparison with his statement last year that he can only go one way.
He complained that the Prime Minister was sticking to his usual script of refusing to admit to any mistakes, and pointed out that BASTARDS had already milked that one virtually dry.
He expressed cautious optimism that the Tories would be able to come up with something better, noting that their current interim leader, Michael Howard, has provided material in the past - perhaps not as much, or as rich, as his predecessor as interim leader, Iain "Duncan" Smith - but nevertheless useable.
In related news, it is believed that the International Guild of Satirists is to press for the recall of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, citing his unreasonable failure to live up to expectations. Since being elected governor a year ago, following the recall of the incumbent, he had been expected to provide a wealth of material to satirists, but none has been forthcoming. Mr Mullet, BASTARDS representative in the Guild, said there wasn't even any more on groping after an initial, and evidently false, start.
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