| |
DeadBrain seeks reaction to the Queen's Speech
DeadBrain's roving reporters have been out and about to assess reaction to today's Queen's Speech, which set out the government's agenda up to the next General Election.
By great good fortune we spotted B-Man, the mysterious Caped Crusader, on his way to the latest breach of Buckingham Palace security. As regular readers will recall, B-Man, and his even more mysterious companion, David, the Boy Wonder, first appeared in London in July, when they pledged to tackle crime as a personal crusade. B-Man very graciously agreed to share with us his opinions.
B-Man, Caped CrusaderI will simply say that I believe with every fibre of my body that everything that Her Majesty announced is the right thing to do; it's right for me, it's right for you, it's right for our children, and it's right for Britain, and don't forget, the terrorists are everywhere, so remember to vote Labour. Oops sorry, better not write that bit about voting. Well, OK, go ahead.
David, the Boy WonderWell, it's a good start at fighting crime even more but it falls far short of what we really need, which is more prisons, public floggings and a return to some of the other older deterrents. What's wrong with trial by ordeal or a day in the stocks, for instance? I think it's good to see that people who drive while using mobile phones will be open to being fined, but I think a far better deterrent would be stoning, or perhaps being hung by the ankles from Tower Bridge, but the namby-pamby wets in Cabinet wouldn't let me put that in, I mean, I bet they wouldn't let the Home Secretary put that in.
I like the idea of a National ID card, I'll soon have tabs on everybody, I'll know everything about you, every thought, every deed, then you will all bow before me... (At this stage the Boy Wonder broke into maniacal laughter and our reporter ran away.)
Michael Howard, current interim Tory leaderWell as expected it's all talk and no action, and we should know, we're the experts in that.
An anonymous BBC spokesmanWe're not saying anything, we've learned not to express any opinions, that Hutton character might be listening.
Lord HuttonI am. I am also satisfied with the Speech.
Douglas Ramsbottom, Professor of Economics and Other Unworldy Pursuits, University of BootleThere are clearly some good points and some bad ones, but speaking as an economist, I'm not able to say which is which.
An unidentified, distinguished-looking elderly gentleman outside Buckingham PalaceBugger off, I'm trying to eat my kebab.
Brenda Shuttleworth, a pensioner of GrimsbyI thought the Queen looked lovely, but I'm disappointed that she didn't make cat food cheaper.
Log in to read/write comments on this article
Hey, look at this!
|
|
