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BBC exec arrested over bouncing children Christmas ident
23 Dec 2004
Lorraine Hedgehog, the controller of BBC One, has been arrested on suspicion of child cruelty following the broadcast of a series of Christmas-themed graphics. Whilst the sparkles added to the BBC One logo are harmless enough, it is understood that police have grave misgivings about the children Ms Hedgehog dressed as Christmas puddings and bounced up and down, even though – as with everything Ms Hedgehog does – they were painstakingly politically correct with ethnic minorities fully represented by a miserable looking girl some distance from the others.
Ms Hedgehog was thought to be initially distressed by her arrest until she remembered the camera crew that is following her around for a new docusoap, and immediately rescheduled it to prime time. Her mood brightened even further when an officer pointed out that she would be unable to watch tonight's EastEnders.
This is not the first controversy Ms Hedgehog has landed herself in over her "dancers" idents, which appear between programmes. Earlier this year she was accused of discrimination and "very poor taste" when it was revealed that the wheelchair-bound basketball players who were filmed dancing in front of the camera were in fact out-of-work actors strapped into contraptions designed by the team behind Robot Wars that were giving them repeated electric shocks.
Graphic designers have meanwhile hurriedly modified some of the rest of the year's idents to make them appear more festive. From tomorrow, viewers will be able to see Welsh rugby players dancing with virtual Santa hats on, while the tai chi dancers have been redressed in computer-generated tinsel.
The designers were using the same technology that put a poppy on Jonathan Ross, hid Sir David Frost's bald patch and made Carol Smilie less irritating. They concede that it is only partially successful.
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