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Thatcher to have another child
Margaret Thatcher, the ginger-headed bastion of hard decisions, architect of the last quarter of a century of British political policy and scourge of the Falklands, is all set to become a mother again.
Thought to be bitterly disappointed by her son Mark's latest international cock-up - this time getting mixed up with a military coup in Equatorial Guinea - and constantly saddened by her daughter's extravagant choice of hair styles, Mrs T has decided to have one last go.
She is believed to be taking her inspiration from Adriana Iliescu, the Romanian woman who became the oldest woman ever to give birth at 66, with dubitable thanks to the miracles of modern medicine.
A source close to the Iron Lady said, "Everyone is obviously a bit shocked by the decision, but so long as the new child is kept well away from the bad influence of Jeffrey Archer, we're sure it will lead a very successful life."
The actions of Mrs Iliescu have caused uproar around the world, with many people concerned that the mother will die just as the child needs her support most. Similar concerns need not be raised over Lady Thatcher's decision, as our source explains: "This is very different to the Romanian case. Lady Thatcher is indestructible: when old age threatens to overwhelm her, she'll look it straight in the eye and tell it to sod off."
As yet, no name has been settled on for the child. We can, however, presume that John, William, Iain and Michael are out of the running.
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