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Bush to announce development of super superjumbo jet
US President "Boy" George W. Bush today ordered the development of an all-American super-superjumbo jet to counter the European-developed Airbus A830 superjumbo that was revealed to the world yesterday. When brought into service the A830 will be the world's largest passenger aircraft, capable of carrying over 550 people.
It appears that the president is still piqued at the USA being beaten to Saturn's moon Titan by the Europeans last week, his annoyance being exacerbated by NASA's refusal to mount a manned expedition to Neptune as a counter coup, and further compounded by the fact that the new Airbus was announced at a ceremony in France. His annoyance was apparently not lessened when he learned that both Jacques Chirac and Tony Blair were in attendance.
President Chirac has not been on Mr Bush's Christmas card list since refusing to join the latter's coalition to liberate Iraq's oil and ensure that Americans were duped into electing him for a second term. Mr Blair is, of course, Mr Bush's right hand man in the UK.
White House spokesperson Mildred K. Ramsbottom told our reporter that upon learning of the A830 from Fox News the President had gone into an uncharacteristic rage rather than remaining in his usual bemused state, saying, "It's my inauguration week and nobody rains on my strawberries, especially not them French." It seems that he first telephoned Mr Blair and accused him of treachery, and then had to be physically restrained from attempting to press The Button to launch a full-scale attack to "nook them cheese-surrendering French monkey eaters".
After he had calmed down the President decided that the best way to fight back was for America to develop an even bigger superjumbo, and he promptly retired to the Oval Office to rough out the design and specifications for one. Among his specifications are that the super superjumbo be capable of carrying "at least a gazillyan peeple" in four decks; that it have two sets of wings at the front; that it have an onboard barbecuing area; and that there be a large sign at the entrance saying "Americans Only, No Yoorapeens Aloud In This Plain".
Ms Ramsbottom shared with our reporter Mr Bush's design, which we reproduce below. She said that she expects him to announce the plane during his inauguration speech, "unless he's forgotten about it by then".
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