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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Gordon Brown |
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| You are sitting on: Home > News | 19th March |
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DeadBrain celebrates Valentine's Day14 Feb 2005 by Malcolm Drury
In celebration of this special day for lovers and the lovelorn, DeadBrain is pleased to provide this free, interactive message service. Send your message for the love of your life to cupid@bootleonline.org.net.zi No profanity, please.Clare S. Please reconsider, come back to me, life is so empty without you, can't we try again. I miss you so desperately, with every fibre of my being. Phone me after 9 on the private number. It's the right thing to do. Tony B. BBC Why don't you **** off and **** yourselves you bunch of ****ing ****ers. Alastair C. Dearest Cammy-Knickers One is so happy Mumsy has given her blessing. One tweasures and woves you, one's wittle smoochy-woochy, one is sending you wots and wots of big wet organic kisses. C (snuggly-wuggly) Gilligan And that goes for you too you little ****, I took you down and I'm back to make sure you stay down. *****, I just dislocated my thumb with this ****ing Blackberry. Alastair C. Tony B. I am so sorry. I was wrong, oh so wrong. Can you ever forgive me? I still care deeply for you. Please take me back! I promise I can change. Robin C. DeadBrain ****, sorry about that, messages went to the wrong address, I'm not used to this e-mail malarkey. Oh, what the hell, you're a bunch of ****ers anyway. Alastair C. Alastair C Please moderate the language: Liberal Democrats, peers of the realm and others of a sensitive disposition may be reading. Gregory T. Mullet, Editor-in-Chief, DeadBrain C (snuggly-wuggly) Thinking about you all the time my little choo choo, I just love nibbling your turnips, sending you lots of big wet kisses back. Cammy-Knickers R K-S I love you so much you handsome, charming, brilliant devil. I love your smile, I love your wit, I love your intellect, and I especially love the way you gaze at me from the mirror each morning. Be mine for ever! R K-S Sherry B. Hope you got the choclits and chrismanthanmums and Terry didn't see them. If he did just say they was from Sheerac, it's the kinda thing them cheese eaters do, just trying to ingrashiate themselves with everybody all the time. Anyway, please phone but not when I'm watching the bits about me on Fox news, I can have Air Force One over there to pick you up right at Number Ten in 45 minutes. Or is that Number Forty-five in 10 minutes. Your secrit admirer, GWB, President, US of A P.S. If Laura ansers the phone just say your doing a survey on famus peeple like me. Another P.S. You might have to walk a bit if AF One can't ackcherly land in Downing Street. Michael H. I know that deep in our hearts we still admire and respect each other. Can't we reconcile? I have some really good ideas to share with you, this time they'll work, honest. Iain P.S. Do you want to buy a copy of my book? Mullet **** off or else you'll be the next one I take down, it's just a silly fuss you *****. Alastair C. Charles and Camilla I think it's wonderful that you are getting married. I'm just a poor pensioner but I shall send you a nice wedding present and buy a new hat to watch the wedding on the telly even though it means I shall have to live on bread and jam for a month. Brenda Shuttleworth, Grimsby Iain No. Michael H. P.S. No. Trotters Sorry about the Nazi thing, just got a bit carried away, it was Wills's idea anyway. About that little misunderstanding the other night, if anybody asks I was watching telly at the time, OK? Thanks old thing, knew you'd understand, the thing is it's a bit tricky here at present what with HRH back in the public eye, he's being a bit stuffy. Hope to see you at Chunkie's party, will you be wearing "it" again, nudge nudge wink wink? Luv, HW
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