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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · George W Bush |
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| You are happy to see: Home > News | 8th February |
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 Buckingham Palace reveals reason for Queen not attending wedding23 Feb 2005 by Malcolm Drury
Buckingham Palace continues to be in a state of extreme spin-doctoring today amidst mounting public concern at the Queen's decision not to attend the civil wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla "Cammy-Knickers" Parker-Bowles. Initial reports had said that it was because the happy couple wanted a low-key wedding. However, that reason was quickly abandoned when several pundits pointed out that given the rather controversial nature of the forthcoming nuptials the ceremony would hardly be low key. At an emergency press conference held last night, Sir Douglas Ramsbottom, chief spokespuppet for the hapless Battenberg-Saxe-Coburg-Gothas, generally known as the Windsors, said that there was no snub intended, it was just that Her Majesty had, after having several servants look through her wardrobe, decided that she simply didn't have a thing to wear and she wouldn't be able to get to BHS for a new outfit and hat before the April 8th ceremony. "Since the fire at Windsor, and given that Her Majesty now pays income tax, they're not as well off as they once were," Sir Douglas explained, "and as she felt that it would be inappropriate for the taxpayer to pay for a new outfit she regretfully decided not to attend." He added that in any case her schedule was full and even if she could afford something she simply would not have time to go shopping. He noted that the Queen and most of the rest of the Royal Family would be going to the service of dedication at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle, and the reception to follow. As that would be a private affair Her Majesty felt comfortable wearing something that she had already worn. Asked why he had said "most" of the rest of the family, Sir Douglas declined comment. However, a Palace insider, speaking on condition of strict anonymity, told our reporter that it was felt that it might be better if Prince Philip stayed away, as it appears he has taken to unpredictable outbursts of swearing and asking what "that silly bugger [Charles] thinks he's doing now". He also said that there was absolutely no truth to a rumour that Charles and Camilla "had" to get married. Related Articles Prince Harry Potter to marry Jenna Bush 10 Feb 2005
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