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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Prince Charles |
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| You are hovering over: Home > News | 20th March |
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 The Wedding: Lord Falconer clarifies clarification24 Feb 2005 by Malcolm Drury
Controversy surrounding the forthcoming wedding of Prince Charles and Camilla "Cammy-Knickers" Parker Bowles continues unabated as the Lord Chancellor, Lord Falconer of Thoroton, has been forced to issue a clarification to his previous clarification concerning the legality of the wedding.Yesterday the Lord Chancellor declared its legality to be "beyond doubt". In a written statement to the Lords intended to clarify the situation he said that as it is to be a civil ceremony it would not break the law because the happy couple are protected by the Human Rights Act. His lordship was forced to issue the clarification to quash fears that the wedding would be in breach of the1836 Marriage Act, which prevents any senior royal from marrying in a civil ceremony. Legal opinion has been divided over whether the 1949 Marriage Act repeals that aspect of the 1836 legislation. However, in citing the Human Rights Act Lord Falconer failed to remember that Prince Charles has previously personally railed against the Act in one of his frequent letter bombardments. Charles had complained that the Act is "a fundamental distortion of social and legal thinking" and said that it "really sucks". An embarrassed Lord Chancellor was therefore forced to issue a further clarification to clarify his statement of yesterday. In another written statement issued this morning he apologised for causing further confusion and explained that he had made an error of judgement in citing the Human Rights Act. However, he noted that he had found an obscure clause under the little-known Turnip Marketing Board Act of 1923 which appears to clear the way for the wedding to go ahead. He said that that Act protects the rights of growers of turnips to unfettered pursuit of their activity, which clearly can be interpreted to mean unrestricted ability to marry whomever they please. Prince Charles, a keen farmer, grows organic vegetables, including turnips, at Poundbury, his model village in Dorset that is built entirely of Lego®. Prime Minister Blair welcomed the clarification to the clarification and said that he hopes that closes the issue once and for all. In related news, DeadBrain can reveal exclusively that it appears that after the wedding Charles and Camilla will leave for a fortnight's honeymoon in Bridlington. Brenda Shuttleworth, manager of the Stayawhile Hotel there, told our reporter that Prince Charles has booked the Freddy Truman Suite (full en suite bath and satellite TV) and that royal protection officers have already visited the hotel to make security arrangements. Asked if she had considered that all this might be a ruse to put reporters on the wrong track she said "well if it is he's not getting his deposit back." Related Articles Buckingham Palace reveals reason for Queen not attending wedding 23 Feb 2005
Prince Harry Potter to marry Jenna Bush10 Feb 2005
Palace denies Harry swastika incident herbally-induced13 Jan 2004
Scientists excited by unique large-eared dinosaur fossil24 Nov 2004
Prince Charles in Crisps for Snobs row19 Nov 2004
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