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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · David Blunkett |
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| You just fell over: Home > News | 20th March |
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 Legal challenge to prevent Pope's death fails2 Apr 2005
A legal challenge to prevent the death of the Pope looks tonight to have failed after the Vatican announced that the Pope has died at the age of 84. "This is a major setback, I'll admit, but we're not letting it get us down," said Douglas Schindler, leader of the campaign to keep the Pope alive at all costs. "We haven't given up yet."The 'Save the Pope' campaign now intends to take its case to the US Supreme Court in a bid to get another feeding tube inserted into him. Should that be rejected for a tenth time, perhaps on the grounds that he is already dead, it plans to request that he be given electric shock treatment in the event that he looks "a little peaky". "And failing that, we're going to seek an injunction to get him frozen until such a time that we can win the fight to keep him alive," Mr Ramsbottom said. "Everybody has the right to life, the Pope included, and nobody should be able to do anything to take that away." When asked what jurisdiction the US courts have over a dead man in Rome, one of Mr Ramsbottom's assistants replied that he would have "jurisdiction over [our reporter's] ass" if he didn't remove himself from the vicinity of his face. The Pope was unavailable for comment. Pope case history1978: Pope appointed1979: Pope visits Poland 1981: Pope shot 1990: Pope brings about end of USSR single-handed Feb 1992: Petition filed to insert feeding tube into Pope Mar 1992: Feeding tube deemed unnecessary as Pope perfectly capable of feeding himself Oct 1998: Florida lower house passes "Pope's law" Sep 1998: Florida Supreme Court strikes down law on grounds that it is "bollocks" June 2000: Pope goes on skiing holiday in France 18 Mar 2005: Florida court allows insertion of tube 19 Mar 2005: Pope's doctors notice tube and remove it 22 Mar 2005: Federal court rejects campaigners' appeal 23 Mar 2005: Appeals court backs ruling 29 Mar 2005: Federal court grants campaigners leave to appeal 30 Mar 2005: Federal court and Supreme Court tell campaigners to "go away" 31 Mar 2005: Pope on deathbed 1 Apr 2005: April Fool's Day 1 Apr 2005, 9.30am: Fox News declared Pope dead 1 Apr 2005, 9.32am: Pope calls Fox News to dispute allegations 1 Apr 2005, 9.33am: Fox News anchor shouts at Pope 2 Apr 2005: Pope dies Related Articles PopeWatch: Bush nominates Jerry Falwell for Pope 1 Apr 2005
PopeWatch: Fox call Pope1 Apr 2005
Broadcasters pray for quick death1 Apr 2005
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