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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Menzies Campbell |
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| You have landed on top of: Home > News | 19th March |
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 PopeWatch: John Paul II responsible for all good in world since 19788 Apr 2005
Pope John Paul II was officially responsible for everything good to have happened since 1978, new research released on the day of his funeral has revealed. Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, an expert in outpourings of grief at Bootle University, collated evidence from television and newspaper reports following John Paul II's death."From what we can gather, JP2 – as he was known by his friends – was solely responsible for, among other things, the fall of the Berlin Wall, winning independence for Poland, ending the war in the Balkans, tackling world poverty, replanting rainforests, scrapping Noel's House Party and managing Westlife," Professor Ramsbottom said. "I think that last one shows that he wasn't totally infallible." There is even evidence to suggest that JP2's good deeds stretch back even further. "I've spoken to several people who are convinced that he was on the pitch during the 1966 World Cup final," he added. "And I can't rule out the possibility that he was the first man on the moon, or that he was part of an attempted putsch against Hitler in 1944." When asked what he thought about JP2's stance on contraception, which has contributed to the high number of AIDS deaths in Africa, Professor Ramsbottom said that that had not come up. Related Articles Rant: The Pope, Schiavo and other tediousness 5 Apr 2005
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