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Shiny new schools don't necessarily improve pupils' education - shock

Ministers and government education advisers recoiled in shock this morning when a report revealed that demolishing schools and replacing them with expensive new ones designed by fashionable architects does not, in fact, necessarily mean that the pupils there will achieve far better results.

Ofsted said that almost everything about the Unity City Academy in Middlesborough was sub-standard, including its leadership, teaching and finances, and pupils' attendance, punctuality and behaviour. It cost £18m to set up and has debts of £1.5m.

"I can't believe the way this has turned out," said a senior adviser in the Department for Education. "We were all convinced that letting second hand car dealers and building companies run schools would be an excellent idea, that's why we let the Prime Minister open this one. I don't know where it's gone wrong."

One minister, who wished to remain anonymous, said that he too had expected big things from city academies. "I mean it stands to reason, doesn't it? You spend millions more than you would have done and hand over control of public services to the private sector and you get them running more efficiently, safely and on time," he told DeadBrain. "It's always worked that way in the past."

Suggestions that it might have been better to spend the money on more, better teachers and on tackling social problems on a wider scale rather than on big shiny buildings in selected deprived areas were dismissed by a government spokesman as a "silly gimmick".



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