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  You are disappointed to see: Home > News8th August 
  Eurotrash

Nein pips Non to post in French EU Referendum

Political commentators and bookmakers alike were left startled this morning as the final results of Sunday's referendum on the EU constitution were declared. Despite most major national newspapers confidently declaring the French electorate to have said a resounding Non to the constitution, it was narrowly beaten into first place by its German equivalent Nein (24% to 22%).

Leader of the Nein campaign and socialist MEP Nicholas Livovski hailed "a miraculous result". "The aim of our campaign was to encourage the French people to show their opposition to the EU constitution in the most forceful and aggressive language known to us;" explained M. Livovski. "German!"

In what was an embarrassing showing for the Oui camp (15%), their word narrowly avoided being pushed into fourth place by Si (13%). In other unexpectedly strong results for Spanish words and phrases, La Cuenta Por Favor polled 8% and Una Vino Blanco was favoured by 4% of those turning out.

Minority phrases drew solid support in predominately white-working class areas, but did not poll as well as exit polls predicted nationwide. Nichons (Tits) polled 1.2%, while the 0.4% for Flänsost (Swedish-Nob Cheese) provoked amusement and bemusement in equal measures.

Brussels was optimistic on Tuesday that the French rejection may not have buried the chances of implementing the constitution. The document must receive a positive response in all 20 working European Union languages to become law. Its supporters are therefore hoping that Belgium may be able to say Oui despite the large Flemish-speaking minority. If that fails Britain could face the astounding prospect of the government rallying for a Oui vote in the forthcoming referendum, with the Republic of Ireland having already declared Yes.

Eurosceptics in Westminster and the media will not be impressed, with rumours abounding that tomorrow's Sun headline will read 'WE WILL NEVER SAY OUI'.

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