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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · John Prescott |
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| You are disappointed to see: Home > News | 8th August |
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 Nein pips Non to post in French EU Referendum31 May 2005 by dbillster
Political commentators and bookmakers alike were left startled this morning as the final results of Sunday's referendum on the EU constitution were declared. Despite most major national newspapers confidently declaring the French electorate to have said a resounding Non to the constitution, it was narrowly beaten into first place by its German equivalent Nein (24% to 22%).Leader of the Nein campaign and socialist MEP Nicholas Livovski hailed "a miraculous result". "The aim of our campaign was to encourage the French people to show their opposition to the EU constitution in the most forceful and aggressive language known to us;" explained M. Livovski. "German!" In what was an embarrassing showing for the Oui camp (15%), their word narrowly avoided being pushed into fourth place by Si (13%). In other unexpectedly strong results for Spanish words and phrases, La Cuenta Por Favor polled 8% and Una Vino Blanco was favoured by 4% of those turning out. Minority phrases drew solid support in predominately white-working class areas, but did not poll as well as exit polls predicted nationwide. Nichons (Tits) polled 1.2%, while the 0.4% for Flänsost (Swedish-Nob Cheese) provoked amusement and bemusement in equal measures. Brussels was optimistic on Tuesday that the French rejection may not have buried the chances of implementing the constitution. The document must receive a positive response in all 20 working European Union languages to become law. Its supporters are therefore hoping that Belgium may be able to say Oui despite the large Flemish-speaking minority. If that fails Britain could face the astounding prospect of the government rallying for a Oui vote in the forthcoming referendum, with the Republic of Ireland having already declared Yes. Eurosceptics in Westminster and the media will not be impressed, with rumours abounding that tomorrow's Sun headline will read 'WE WILL NEVER SAY OUI'. Related Articles Rant: Spain shows the way 22 Feb 2005
European bureaucracy eats child11 Oct 2004
SPECIAL REPORT: Britain capsizes under weight of EU immigration1 May 2004
Calls for referendum on referendum on EU constitution26 Mar 2004 Blair: Unemployed migrants to stand in corner 24 Feb 2004
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