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London Olympics win: Construction already behind schedule and over budget
6 Jul 2005
Preparations for the 2012 Olympics in London are already behind schedule and over budget, DeadBrain can reveal. Despite the result only being announced two hours ago, documents seen by our newly installed Olympics Correspondent (the former rarely-utilised Extreme Knitting Reporter) show that construction should have begun three years ago in order for all the stadiums to be ready on time. Taking into account known and unknown future delays, he said, the current estimation is that all of the facilities will be ready by 2021.
However, even if the sporting venues are finished by 2021, visitors to the Olympics will struggle to get to them. The transport infrastructure required to get thousands of extra people around London will not be in place until 2030 at the earliest, and possibly much later if the "wrong type of builders" – such as the ones used on the Jubilee line – are utilised.
The budget for the games has already been stretched to the limit, and cost-cutting measures are being considered. Among these is a proposal to cut the length of track events by swapping the unit of measurement from metres to centimetres, with British athletic clubs being called upon to find runners with particularly large feet. A decision from the IOC is expected as soon as it works out how to use its electronic voting keypads.
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