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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Ann Widdecombe |
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| You are puzzled to find: Home > News | 4th December |
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Police random shooting policy under fire17 Aug 2005 by Glory Sergei
Tough new measures designed to secure Britain's streets against an escalating terrorist threat were on ice last night after revelations that the random shooting policy installed by Metropolitan Police commissioner Sir Ian Blair may have serious flaws.Documents received by DeadBrain, and passed on to a major independent broadcaster, indicate that, following a pilot, the shootings are running at a 100 percent fail rate - some distance below the minimum standard required. Sources claimed that the official statistics also reveal a worrying trend in the scheme, implying an element of discrimination on the part of the highly-trained armed police teams entrusted with the task. In fact, all bar one of the eight random shootings carried out so far have involved the head of innocent young Brazilians called Jean Charles de Menezes, sparking grave concerns in the Jean-Charles-de-Menezes' head community. One senior police insider though complained that the Met's decision to put the random shooting scheme on hold was hampering the effort to reduce terror among London commuters. "How can we guarantee the safety of Londoners without having all the necessary means at our disposal?" he asked. "People understand that the police must be able to rapidly unload weapons at close range into the faces of random bystanders, or we may as well tell the terrorists they've won." Blair stood by his cautious stance though, and in comments to reporters late yesterday hinted that the entire policy may have to be rethought. "Yes I'm concerned, and yes, we will tackle this: The young man who participated in the scheme was clearly quite white-skinned and I'm particularly worried that our surveillance teams seem unable to detect potential Muslims adequately. This will be the focus of efforts to strengthen the programme." Contacted by DeadBrain, campaign group Liberty said the death of Menezes was "awful" and that firing white-hot slugs of metal into non-combatants on a whim was "often needless".
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