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British Telecom confirms 5th satisfied customer
After nearly 25 years in the private sector, British Telecom announced yesterday that the company had achieved one of its major targets by confirming its fifth satisfied customer.
BT Customer Donald Mullet, who runs the home-based 'Mullet Cricket Bat Recycling Company' in Accrington, said: "I am over the moon that my business can now receive phone calls. Pretty soon we hope to add fax and even email. Best of all I only had to wait in for two weeks for the engineer to arrive, and there was me thinking that it might be three weeks!"
Professor Douglas Ramsbottom, an expert in telecommunications, told DeadBrain: "BT have confounded consumer groups by reaching this target years before people said they would."
A spokesman for BT said: "Despite the doubters, we always believed this target was obtainable. Now that we have reached it we can start to think about diversifying our business from 25% telecommunications and 75% complaints, to 26% telecommunications and 74% complaints. Unfortunately this means that we will have to let go of 2,300 staff who deal with complaints, but the good news is that it will mean taking on an extra two engineers."
Telecom watchdog Oftmuch said that given BT's performance over the past two decades they were now "highly likely" to approve the proposed merger of BT with the Disney company.
Meanwhile, in the city, BT unveiled their proposed BT/Disney logo - a silhouette of Mickey Mouse holding a telephone. Stockbroker Ramsbottom Douglas said: "A merger with the Disney company would make perfect sense as BT have a great deal in common with Disney. This logo is very powerful and I can already envisage 'Mickey Mouse Customer Help Centres', a 'Mickey Mouse Engineering Training Centre' and 'Goofy customer prioritisation'. Who knows where this will take the company?"
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