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Panic in Warsaw as Germans 'head for polls'
Panic broke out in Warsaw, Poland yesterday when a 24-hour news channel announced that the Germans were 'heading for the polls', DeadBrain can reveal.
Ex pat Doug Mullet, who operates a McDonald's franchise in the Polish capital, described what happened. "Many of our customers are only starting to learn English. We usually have Sky News playing in the background, and when the news was announced the place emptied. I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding."
The news channel was referring to the German election contest between Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder and Conservative challenger Angela Merkel, which may result in political confusion and an unstable government.
Mrs Merkel, whose approach and policies have been likened to those of Margaret Thatcher, said: "During Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder's seven-year stint, Germany's jobless total has risen above five million and remains at more than 11%, which is just not good enough."
"I think we can learn a lot from Mrs Thatcher, and I really am looking forward: to getting unemployment to 20%, trampling over our unions, persuading people to put all of their money into houses instead of business, new inventions and exports, 15% interest rates, shoddy privatised services and ensuring everyone in Germany gets an opportunity to obtain a Mickey Mouse degree and a proper job in the service sector."
Meanwhile, reports that a similar misunderstanding in France led her government to commence planning its surrender could not be confirmed.
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Look at this, moron.
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