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  You have fallen over: Home > News19th March 
 

Jailing criminals breaches human rights

Putting lawbreakers in prison breaches their human rights, a court has ruled.

The judgement by the European Court of Human Rights looks likely to force a change in the British law punishing wrongdoers like Myra Hindley, Ian Huntley and Jeffrey Archer.

The ruling came after a case brought by inmate Douglas Ramsbottom, who was given a life sentence in 1980 after pleading guilty to murder.

Speaking to DeadBrain, Mr Ramsbottom said: "There are about 70,000 convicted prisoners in the UK, and all of then are there against their will. Are we such a fascist state that we deny law-abiding rapists and murderers their freedom?"

A spokesman for the Government said it would now give "urgent consideration" to reviewing current legislation.

Mr Ramsbottom initially took his claim to the High Court, which rejected his claim, pointing out that the man he had chopped up and left in buckets had had the human right not to be murdered horribly taken away from him by being murdered horribly.

However, today the European Court of Human Rights backed his claim, freeing him immediately, awarding him £10 million and letting him have anything he wanted from the local sweet shop in compensation.

"The Government must change the law immediately," continued Ramsbottom. "Or they'll be facing 70,000 lawsuits."

When DeadBrain's reporter suggested that perhaps by committing a crime against society, criminals had forfeited the right to shape it, Mr Ramsbottom cut the interview short, and the reporter too. In half, to be exact.

Home Secretary Charles Clarke is said to be secretly in favour of the proposed law change, as it would instantly solve the problem of prison overcrowding.

Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott is said to have earmarked several prisons for use as affordable housing, planning to charge £100,000 per cell, inclusive of slop bucket. The scheme will initially be available to public sector workers such as nurses, teachers and prison officers.



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