|News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Gordon Brown|
|You accidentally discovered: Home > News||28th July|
Man who had no chance of winning Tory leadership decides not to bother
12 Oct 2005A man who had no chance of winning the interim Conservative leadership has decided not to bother trying, it was announced yesterday. Malcolm Rifkind, who claims to be a former foreign secretary, said to the surprise of nobody that he had been unable to find the support he needed from Conservative MPs, despite having spent days touring parts of the country where there are none of them. His supporters, who DeadBrain has been unable to identify, are likely to switch their support to someone else, assuming they still care.
A total of 43 other Conservatives who had equally low prospects of winning the sought-after job of being beaten at the next election have also dropped out of the race over the last few days, including:
Voting amongst MPs is expected to take place sometime next week. The final appointment of the new interim leader has been postponed until 2007 due to delays on the Northern Line.
Boris Johnson formally announces Tory leadership candidacy
10 Oct 2005Support growing for Boris leadership bid
9 Oct 2005Tories to electorate: please bear with us
1 Oct 2005Davis: We must support Tory value of losing elections
29 Sep 2005Tories need more MPs like Theresa May, says Theresa May
11 Sep 2005Tories want their identity back
17 Aug 2005