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Jeffrey Archer in lack of fraud shock
The entire Political world was reeling last night at revelations that Jeffrey Archer has not recently committed any acts of fraud.
The millionaire ex-MP and convict was said to be "furious" at claims that he has been keeping his nose clean since his release from prison.
"It's disgraceful", he raged, "Since my release, the only thing I've been accused of was helping to fund Mark Thatcher's attempted coup, and those allegations fizzled out after a few weeks."
Friends of the compulsive-lying novelist were said to be "aghast" at his lack of recent form, and were rallying round in support. Douglas Ramsbottom MP, one of the disgraced Lord's firmest "foulweather friends", told DeadBrain: "I'm trying to do all I can. I've offered him the chance to be involved in some money laundering, there's an arms deal in the Congo that's right up his street, and I'm visiting with some hookers later. He'll be ok, but it's one day at a time."
Greg Mullet, the convicted criminal's agent, urged the public to do what they could. "If there are any aspiring writers out there, could they please send Jeff their manuscripts for his expert 'advice'? He can then nick their idea and spend months in court, and the papers, debating copyright."
If you see Jeffrey Archer, please encourage him to break the law in every way possible, even littering. Or you can write to him. Send a postcard marked "I want to see you break the law again, Jeff" to Jeffrey Archer c/o House of Lords, London. Please remember to specify which law you want to see him break.
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Look at this, moron.
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