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Civil Partnerships given warm welcome
There was nationwide rejoicing yesterday as, after months of waiting, the Civil Partnership Act came into force. No longer will the uncivil and, frankly, belligerent unions currently known as marriages be the only option for young couples who decide to put their love on an equal footing.
The Act removes the common law requirement for petty squabbles twice nightly, eliminates the need for empty comments about how one's spouse looks in a dress and allows one or both of the partners to go out on a Saturday night and drink to excess without the need for the threat of divorce proceedings on Sunday.
The Home Office brief on the act includes statistics showing that, under the old regime, 167,116 couples divorced in 2004. The civil nature of the new partnership framework is likely to cut that figure by more than 90% leaving divorce actions to deal with the problems caused, in certain parts of the country, by marrying Thai lady-boys or a close relative.
The move has been welcomed almost universally. "Having seen generations fighting over television remote controls, disagreeing on holidays and being manipulated by their children I was going to avoid marriage all together. Now the archaic requirements of being obnoxious and aggressive have been removed my boyfriend and I have already chosen dresses for the wedding," said Alexander Fulchester, Liberal Democrat MP for Little Snodding on the Wold. The other main political parties have also voiced their support, with the Green Party saying that at least two power stations could be shut down due to the drop in unnecessary channel changes and people being able to sit in the same room together in the evenings for longer periods.
Gordon Brown has also given his support in a letter to friends. "It remains to be seen whether the change from violence, unpleasantness, loudness and slavish argumentativeness to a situation where conversation can be fulfilling, discussions can be reasonable and one can socialise without being a 'little tart' or a 'selfish bastard' will extend to my political marriage," he wrote.
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