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Fox News: Whole of Britain engulfed by fire
11 Dec 2005
The whole of Britain is ablaze today, Fox News has reported. The alleged news channel, which is renowned for its accurate coverage of foreign affairs, has a roving reporter tasked with finding stories from across the UK, particularly when they happen within the immediate vicinity of central London. Today Greg Mullet proved his worth.
All times are local time.
06.38Good morning from England, the historic capital of London, on a very black day indeed. I speak to you from the centre of this little nation, not far from the House of Parliaments and Big Ben, and all around me people are panicking. A huge pall of smoke stretches across the skyline, not unlike what you might expect to see from a multiple air crash incident, or perhaps from a three-mile-wide bonfire.
07.12The smoke has spread: I can see from my vantage point here in Europe that it covers much of the continent. We have had reports of people choking on the thick dust from as far away as France, Germany and a little town called Bedfordshire, which I believe is in Scotland. As yet we don't know the cause of the attack – and I use that word with caution – but we believe it could be an explosion of some kind.
08.29Smoke is now spreading to the Russian border, and the flames too are covering a much wider area. No word yet on the cause of the fire, but the English police are refusing to rule out terrorism at this stage. My own sources in the security services at home say they're working hard to determine any possible al Qaeda or Iranian involvement. I think it's too early at this stage to talk about retaliation, but should retaliation come – and given the scale of this disaster I think it surely must – then it could come within days, or even hours.
08.58Police here in London are now saying that the fire is at a huge fuel depot in the English suburbs, not far from where I am standing now. Residents in the area say they heard the sounds of an airplane flying low beforehand, but at this stage we don't know what type of aircraft it was or what its origin was. What we do know is that there is a huge fire and people are very scared.
09.12The blitz spirit is out in force here in England as people struggle to come to terms with the disaster in the very heart of their country. The people here came through so much in World War Two and on 7/7, and I for one am sure they can cope with this as well, but for now they are getting the heck out of the way – and I can't blame them. The flames are heading north, south, east and west and there is smoke everywhere. The transport system here is struggling – unusual for this country, I'm told – with few train services operating and enormous tailbacks on the highways as people fill up their vehicles and rush to the countryside. It's like a city back home evacuating before a hurricane, except here the disaster has already arrived.
10.44It's strange to see but London is almost deserted. I speak to you now from my rooftop position near Buckingham Palace, the flames beginning to lick at the foot of this building, with only the dark, dark clouds of smoke for company. You can feel it all around you: it gets into your throat, into your lungs – there is no escape. It's little wonder that all those who could got out of here a long time ago, but at the same time I don't mind telling you that it's not nice being stuck up here on your own, not knowing when the next attack could come.
11.23The fire has taken hold of the building now and for me, I'm afraid, there is no chance of escape. The exits have been barricaded against possible Arab terrorists and there is a blaze down every hallway. All I have to tell you now is that Her Majesty The Queen is safe and well up in Scotland, and that must come as a huge relief for what few of her loyal and loving subjects remain here in England. You might be able to see the flames around me now, and I hope the smoke is not blocking your vision too much. But this is indeed the end, England is done for - and so am I. For Fox News, this is Greg Mullet signing off for the last time.
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