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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Ann Widdecombe |
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| You are crouching next to: Home > News | 6th September |
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 Rolf Harris beheaded20 Dec 2005 by Malcolm Drury
Three-legged entertainer and artist Rolf Harris has been taken to the Tower of London and summarily beheaded under the terms of a surprise Royal Warrant issued by an enraged Queen Elizabeth.The action followed the unveiling of Mr Harris's portrait of Her Majesty, at which, according to an anonymous Palace insider, she screamed "Gott in Himmel, what is it? It makes me look like I've got a bloody skin infection." "I'm not making any claims that this is the greatest painting in the world," said Mr Harris as he was escorted to the Tower by two burly Beefeaters. "I've done the best I can." This is not the first occasion in recent times that an artist has faced royal displeasure, although it is the first that has led to the ultimate penalty. Prince Philip was arrested last year after trying to shoot an artist who had portrayed him as bare-chested, with a large nose, and with cress growing out of one finger. It is understood that Mr Harris's last words were "tie me kangaroo down, sport", and that he met his end bravely after being allowed to do a quick sketch of the executioner. Both his head and extra leg are to be displayed on Tower Bridge as a warning to others not to mess about with members of The Family. Related Articles Prince Just William to tackle plight of homeless 13 Sep 2005
Queen orders cost-cutting measures for royal garden parties23 Jun 2005
Plans for alternative delivery of Royal Family functions revealed22 Jun 2005
Exclusive: Prince Charles's teachers' college plans revealed10 Jun 2005
Wales and Cornwall to merge, Isle of Bute may follow14 Apr 2005
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