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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Gordon Brown |
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| You are sitting on: Home > News | 19th March |
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Solar, wind energy will 'destroy the earth' say environmentalists8 Jan 2006 by Mrs Dimmock
Government plans to expand the UK's renewable energy output through massive investment in solar and wind power will be disastrous for millions of plants and animals, and could eventually plunge the entire northern hemisphere into nuclear winter.That was the stark message from environmental groups last night as they launched a coordinated campaign to force a rethink of state energy policy. One Friends of the Earth spokesman said: "We are sitting on a time bomb, there's no snooze button, and it's also a landmine that will explode if we move inappropriately." In a presentation accompanied by live music from 80s Celt-pop sensation Enya, the campaigners detailed how: Greenpeace coordinator Helene Back said that compared to 40 years ago, when there were no renewable energy facilities whatsoever in Britain, solar panels are now taking up roughly 3.2 million square meters of sunshine PER DAY which would otherwise be falling, as nature intended, onto our good earth. "With the photo-voltaic industry growing at nearly 25 per cent per year, we are heading for disaster. It's a suicide bomb, and we're holding a grenade to it with the pin removed," Back said. She denied reports that the dramatic change in stance by her organisation only came about after Greenpeace executive Beverley Thorpe discovered a wind farm was to be constructed a short distance from her own back lawn. Energy minister Malcolm Wickes, meanwhile, has labelled the campaign "utterly insane", but the campaigners are defiant. They concluded their presentation with a chilling warning. "We can't get that sunshine back; we can't reclaim breezes from the so-called 'electricity' these windmills purport to generate. We are robbing Mother Nature and effectively building a wall of dynamite around ourselves. And we are trying to climb that wall with a lighted match clenched between our teeth. "But if we get to the top of the dynamite wall, and in relief fling that match away from the forbidding fuses therein, what will we see but all around lakes of kerosene and TNT awaiting the flickering flame as an Arctic fox might lie in wait for a wounded snow hamster."
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