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Exclusive: New revelations of undesirables working in schools
17 Jan 2006
Education Secretary Ruth Kelly was embroiled in fresh controversy today as new evidence emerged of undesirables working as teachers. Following on from a string of revelations in every newspaper that sex offenders have been allowed by ministers to get jobs teaching children, DeadBrain can reveal the findings of its own research into the suitability of some staff.
- In Bootle, a man who delights in forcing children to run long distances in the rain has been working as a PE teacher for 20 years.
- A Darlington woman who lacks training as a professional chef and has never watched Jamie's School Dinners got a job as cookery teacher last month.
- In Southampton, a man who routinely forcibly imprisons children (colloquially known as 'detention') on the flimsiest of excuses was recently given a 'top head teacher' award.
Shadow Education Secretary David "two brains" Willets said that Ms Kelly should explain to the Commons why such people had been allowed to work with children. "This is a very serious matter and Ruth Kelly must explain herself. It frankly beggars belief that someone who hasn't seen Jamie Oliver's television programme should be allowed to work in a school," he said, adding from notes with the words "FOCUS GROUP REPORT" across the top: "Dave and I both watched it."
Meanwhile, Liberal Democrat Education Spokesman Ed "two ears" Davey called for Ms Kelly to resign. "We haven't had a proper resignation for ages if you don't count Blunkett and Iraq," he said. "And Charles Kennedy, but let's not mention that."
A spokesman for the Department for Education said that Ms Kelly was unavailable for comment because it was well past her bedtime and she had already stayed up late to watch her Jamie Oliver DVDs.
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