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NHS banks on Euromillions draw to reduce debts
A team of financial experts has been sent in to the worst offending NHS trusts to help cope with the record £1 squillion debt.
The team, drawn from high-flying city executives and the brightest minds in the Treasury, has identified next Friday's £125 million EuroMillions Lottery draw as one of the main strategies for survival.
"They've cancelled all operations for this week and piled it all on the super draw," an insider told us today.
Other measures to be introduced by the financial whiz kids include setting up a swear-box, having a car-boot sale and giving Ocean Finance a call.
Patient groups have greeted the proposals with relief as leaked documents had previously included plans to charge for anaesthetic and operate on right-handed patients only.
If the controversial measures work it's believed merger plans with the refuse collection service can be shelved.
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Wow, look at this!
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