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| News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · David Cameron |
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| You are slobbering over: Home > News | 25th July |
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 Prince Philip arrested outside Daily Mirror offices15 Feb 2006 by Malcolm Drury
Prince Philip was arrested earlier today and charged with using false documents in an attempt to obtain pecuniary advantage after he tried to get a job as a reporter with the Daily Mirror, an alleged newspaper of no fixed reputation. His Royal Highness has been released on bail and is to appear at Marylebone Magistrates' Court at a time and date yet to be determined. Police spokeswoman Superintendent Brenda Shuttleworth confirmed the incident. She said that a charge of breaking the terms of an ASBO was later retracted when it was discovered that police had failed to file the necessary paperwork following an earlier brush with the law. She said that that had been her fault. "We just wanted to get him out of the station at the time," she explained. A Buckingham Palace aide, speaking on condition of anonymity, said that the Prince had become enraged at the latest attempt by a Mirror "reporter" to get a job with the Royal Household. Robert Stansfield was detained last week after a job interview. Another Mirror "reporter" got a job as a palace footman in 2003, and subsequently revealed details of life with the Battenberg-Saxe-Coburg-Gotha-Windsors, including the number of servants required to change a toilet roll (12), Her Majesty's preferred brand of dental fixative, and the fact that Prince Andrew still sleeps with a night light on. The aide explained that Prince Philip had, in his words, decided to "stop those buggers once and for all", by infiltrating the Mirror's facilities and sabotaging them. "We did try to restrain him," said the aide, "but he gave us the slip. He's become pretty crafty after we took to locking him in following that shooting incident - he said he was just going to the kitchen for a piece of baklava, but he got out through a pantry window." Supt. Shuttleworth noted that she hoped the Prince's court appearance would be sooner rather than later. "I mean, he's not getting any younger, is he?" she said. She added that the baklava had been confiscated as possible evidence, on the suspicion that it might have been intended to gum up the Mirror's printing press. Related Articles Charles to be known as 'King Spike' 24 Dec 2005
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