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Prince Harry Potter will go to Iraq: MoD

24 Apr 2006 by Malcolm Drury

The Ministry of Defence has announced that Prince Harry Potter will indeed serve in the front lines of battle zones.

Speaking at a press conference this morning Brigadier-General Sir Douglas Noseworthy-Ramsbottom, MBE, a British army spokesman, squashed suggestions that the newly-commissioned prince might have to stay behind when his unit, the Household Cavalry's Blues and Royals, is sent to Iraq next year. There had been reports that some military commanders were worried that the prince might preferentially draw enemy fire.

Sir Douglas admitted that there were concerns in that regard but that a solution had been found. In order not to put other troops at risk Harry is to be given special duties. Sir Douglas said that his job would be to stand on the tops of hills at least five kilometres from other British troops and stand up and wave whenever he saw Iraqi insurgents approaching.

On learning of the decision Harry was delighted. "Whizzo. It was real fun at Sandhurst, except for the blisters and having to get up early, and I just want to be able to lead my boys," said the twenty-one year old.

"What are the night clubs and lap dancing clubs like up there?" he asked.

Attempting to clarify that question, Sir Michael Peat-Moss, chief spokesman for Clarence House, categorically denied that Harry, who obtained only a D pass in A-level geography, had been unclear as to the actual location of Iraq, being under the impression that it was "up North, near Scunthorpe or somewhere", and that having been shown an atlas had simply said "Oh bugger!"

"Prince Harry was just having his little joke," he explained.

"He's quite well known for that," he added, somewhat grimly.

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