Bird Flu: Troops to secure, seal off Norfolk
27 Apr 2006 by Malcolm Drury
Following the identification of a strain of bird flu at a chicken farm near Norwich, troops who were to have gone to Iraq are being diverted to help seal off and secure the county of Norfolk, as a national state of emergency is declared.Speaking at a hastily-arranged press conference this morning a harassed-looking Tony Blair said that although the measure might seem extreme, the crisis was itself extremely serious. He referred to the irrefutable proof that the dead swan at Cellardyke last month had been deliberately infected by al-Qaeda, and reminded those present that he had predicted a summer avian terror campaign.
Although the flu strain in the Norfolk chickens is not the one that many fear could mutate and infect humans, the PM said that now is not the time for complacency. "The terrorists are among us," he said, "and that is why troops are being deployed."
The entire county of Norfolk is to be sealed off from the rest of the country, with no-one allowed in by air, land or sea. In addition, the east coast from the Humber to the Thames Estuary is to be placed under special surveillance and all residents in a strip stretching inland for 10 miles, and all of Norfolk, are to be placed under a curfew. Police and specially-empowered traffic wardens will be authorised to arrest anyone seen out-of-doors between 8 pm and 6 am unless they are carrying a government-approved ID card.
The PM categorically denied that the drastic measures are a wild over-reaction designed to deflect public attention from the current problems he faces from some of his Cabinet colleagues.
"That is palpable nonsense," he said. "We know with absolute certainty that the terrorists are planning a massive attack on Britain."
He cited the existence of secret documents obtained by the ultra-secret MI7, which, as DeadBrain has exclusively revealed, has its headquarters in the cellar at 10 Downing Street. He claimed that the documents prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that al-Qaeda agents have recently attempted to buy uranium-enriched bird seed from Nigeria with the obvious intent of releasing millions of radioactive sparrows into British towns and cities.
"This may well be the beginning of a reign of terror the likes of which country has not seen since Margaret Thatcher was Prime Minister," he said.
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