Scientists call for Prince Charles to be withdrawn
23 May 2006
Leading scientists today called for Prince Charles to be withdrawn, as the benefits of his existence are "unproven". "Every year millions of pounds and hours of television and radio airtime go to Prince Charles, but there is no scientific evidence that the public receives any benefit," said Dr Douglas Ramsbottom, an expert in homoerotic medicines. "Until any benefit can be proven – and I highly doubt that one will be – I see no sensible option other than to withdraw him from use."
DeadBrain's correspondent at the United Nations, Greg Mullet, said that repeated Security Council resolutions have called for the Prince to be decommissioned but thus far all have been ignored. "Prince Charles's argument has been for some years that if it's alright for America to have a sex-crazed/permanently befuddled President as head of state, there is no reason why he should not aspire to an equivalent position and get some practice in at both now," he said.
Home Secretary John Reid, who only this morning discovered that his new department has responsibility for homeopathic medicines purely because they start with 'home', backed calls for Prince Charles to be withdrawn. "All members of the Royal Family are classed as immigrants and as such I haven't the faintest idea where they are or how many crimes they have committed," he said. "They will be deported to Iraq as soon as soon as possible."
Gordon the Dandelion, the Prince's official spokesman this week, was unavailable for comment, as it is believed that an over-zealous aide has mowed one of the royal lawns.
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