Al-Zarqawi killed by blast injuries - shock
12 Jun 2006 by Sir Charles Cheese-Cake
The now ex-head of Al-Qaeda in Iraq was killed by blast injuries, a square-headed American man claiming to be soldier stated today."Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi sustained serious blast wounds, consistent with someone who'd just been near, er, a serious blast," the mono-syllabic robo-grunt said at a press conference.
"We thought maybe he'd had a stroke," shouted a journalist.
"Er, no, sir," replied the pointless army man, not getting the journalist's sarcastic tone, "it was definitely the two 500 pound bombs we dropped on his head that did it."
Meanwhile, in a move that would have made the English FA proud, Al-Qaeda in Iraq have already named the man to take over.
"After a round of interviews with several really deranged candidates we've decided that Abu Hamza al-Muhajir is the best person to continue the senseless killings," said a terrorist who asked not to be named.
Al-Muhajir has already moved into his new office - at an undisclosed location, obviously, from where he will conduct his reign of terror.
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