Government launches 'hug a nuke' campaign
11 Jul 2006
The government is to launch a new campaign to sell nuclear power to a suspicious public. Nicknamed 'hug a nuke', the campaign will attempt to persuade people that nuclear power stations are more than enormous, expensive terrorist targets creating radioactive waste that nobody knows what to do with."There are actually a lot of benefits to nuclear power," said Professor Gregory T Mullet, a government adviser on energy. "It doesn't just generate electricity, but it can also keep you warm. Very warm, in fact."
"And it can help with poor eyesight at night, so long as you don't mind you and your family glowing green."
DeadBrain understands that a particular problem for spin-doctors is how to sell the involvement of private companies in running new nuclear power stations, not least after the success they have made of running the railways and building hospitals.
"I'm still struggling on that one," admitted one highly-paid consultant. "My first thought was to get the government to employ a dozen of my highly-paid friends to help me, which I did. We're thinking clever advertising, like the glowing balls of gas and water they have on television adverts for power companies, but with a bit of uranium instead. We're not really sure how we'd film that."
Apparently of less concern is finding sites for the new power stations. "The government already has the power to confiscate your house. John Prescott has been bulldozing the north of England for years. It's not a problem."
How the press covered the announcement of new nuclear power stations
Could nuclear power cause cancer?Daily Mail
Nuclear power: house prices will plummet
Daily Mail
Nukes in YOUR back garden
Daily Mirror
Did nukes kill Diana?
Daily Express
