No-cost peerages to be granted to all UK residents
14 Jul 2006 by Malcolm Drury
In an effort to control its growing cash-for-peerages crisis the government is to award free peerages to all residents of the United Kingdom, irrespective of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, political affiliation, or degree of acne affliction.It will replace an earlier scheme that would have opened peerages to all, but for a fee. That scheme was announced but not implemented.
The surprise announcement by probably-soon-to-be-former Prime Minister Tony Blair came on the heels of news that at least two members of his Cabinet, Science Minister Lord Sainsbury and Trade Minister and former Beatle Ian McCartney, have been helping police with their enquiries.
That in turn followed the questioning of New, Improved Labour fundraiser Lord Levy, who has called his arrest "entirely theatrical", "not even worthy of the trashiest of reality shows", and "done by a bunch of amateurs who would be booed off the stage at Bootle Rep".
While police have not revealed the nature of their latest questioning it is believed that one line has been trying to establish whether Sainsbury's at one time offered coupons for 20% off the price of peerages as part of a campaign to promote a new flavour of own brand jam.
Speaking to reporters earlier today Mr Blair said that the full details of the peerages-for-all scheme have yet to be worked out: for example, whether or not it would apply to foreign nationals who have been convicted of a crime in the UK. That, Mr Blair surmised, would probably depend on whether or not the Home Office knew their whereabouts. There is also the question of how the House of Lords would be able to handle seating requirements if all approximately 60 million peers showed up at once.
"Obviously there are some implementation issues to be sorted out, but in the interests of fairness to all I think it's the right thing to do," he said, before leaving without answering questions, citing an urgent appointment.
Douglas Ramsbottom, a spokesman for Mr Blair, reminded reporters that police have not yet asked to interview the Prime Minister. He noted that Mr Blair was shortly to leave for the G8 meeting in St Petersburg and that given the number and magnitude of issues to be dealt with there the PM expected to be out of the country "for the foreseeable future, or perhaps longer".
David Cameron, current interim leader of the Conservatives, would only mumble "Yeah, whatever" from the depths of his hood when asked for his opinion.
