Hussein, Forsyth to head next Big Brother line-up
23 Aug 2006 by Suspicious Mind
Endemol, the creators of Big Brother, have announced a number of celebrity entrants for the next series of the Channel Four reality TV show, due to start broadcasting in October. Among the stars already signed up are former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein – under a special bail arrangement – and septuagenarian family favourite Bruce Forsyth. Endemol said that they hope that the star names will help to capitalise on the success of the most recent series of the show, which was won last Friday by Pete Bennett, a Tourette's syndrome sufferer from Brighton.Speaking through his appointed defence counsel, Hussein, 67, said, "I shall enter the Big Brother House as a symbol of the resistance of the people of the Land of The Two Rivers, who have been robbed of their rightful President." He later added that Allah was on his side, while Satan was represented by his opponents, in this case Bruce Forsyth. The evergreen star of The Generation Game and Play Your Cards Right said that he was thrilled by the opportunity to appear opposite the deposed Iraqi leader, quipping predictably that "it'll be nice to see him, to see him nice!"
Several new features are planned for the next series of Big Brother, including a mud-wrestling pit, a human hamster-wheel and a specially-constructed gallows, the purpose of which is being kept closely under wraps.
Answering charges that the series promised to be 'a new low' in dumbed-down, celebrity-obsessed reality television, Channel Four supremo Andy Duncan said, "I utterly refute this. The 'Human Hamster Wheel' will be a stimulating psychological journey into Nietzschian existentialism."
Negotiations with serial killer Charles Bronson to take part in a live knife-throwing contest with Saddam Hussein – refereed by Forsyth – are believed to have run aground over Bronson's excessive financial demands.
