Rolling Stones guitarist apologises for being poor role model
29 Aug 2006 by Si Bowen
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has been made to apologise to thousands of fans who attended Friday night's gig at Hampden Park.Glasgow City Council officials forced the move after reports that Richards had lit up whilst playing a rock and roll song to a crowd of adult rock and roll fans.
Some fans were reportedly "shocked" and "surprised" that such a thing could happen.
Other fans think that fans who are "shocked" and "surprised" are probably not fans at all, and probably only exist in the mind of the journalist writing the article as a handy source of quotes.
At the hastily arranged press conference this afternoon 37-year-old Richards made his public apology. "I apologise for smoking a cigarette," he mumbled, "I know people all round the world look to me as a role model for how to live their lives."
After being helped back into his chair he continued, "In my role as UN ambassador for healthy living I know I've inspired even non-music fans to question whether they are doing enough. Are you doing enough?"
Glasgow health officials sitting next to Mr Richards smiled smugly but quickly called an end to proceedings when the guitarist asked if he could order a deep-fried pizza and a pork pie soaked in saturated fat.
This latest smoking scandal to rock the world follows the recent deletion of smoking scenes from a 1940s cartoon about a cat and a mouse. It's not known how many cats died of lung cancer last year but health officers have ensured no cat will be encouraged to do so in the future by a fictional cartoon cat from the 1940s.
A ban on smoking in public in Scotland came into effect in March this year. A ban on thinking about smoking is set for November, followed by a ban on the word smoke and a ban on all forms of smoke, soon after. By 2008 the phrase 'No smoke without fire' will be changed to 'No. Without fire please'.
