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21st November
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Ryanair boss protests against human rights violations in Burma

Budget airline Ryanair's charismatic chief executive launched yet another headline-grabbing protest today. Michael O'Leary began to stage a 'bed-in' at Stansted airport to protest against the disregard for civil liberties in Burma, claiming that this costs his business £300 million a year.

The form of protest involves Mr O'Leary lying on a king-sized bed in the terminal underneath a neon-illuminated mural of Mahatma Ghandi, whilst refusing to move until the Burmese government both abandon their oppressive rule and pay Ryanair compensation for its alleged lost profits. This echoes John Lennon and Yoko Ono's unsuccessful attempt to gain world peace through a 'bed-in' at an Amsterdam Hotel in 1969.

"I had to do this as it burnt a hole in my heart every time I thought about the many millions alive on our planet unable, because of the rule of fear, to do ordinary things such as taking advantage of our low, low fares," the Ryanair boss explained to journalists. The press conference was then interrupted by the bizarre sound of the ten-foot tall neon Gandhi announcing Ryanair's latest cut-priced fares. It is clear that the Indian man of peace has become a symbol of this protest, with Ryanair reproducing a 1946 image of a gleaming Gandhi beside the company logo on much of its fleet. "He's looking so happy because he's just been to Warsaw for the weekend with his girlfriend," joked O'Leary.

In response to claims that the figure of estimated profit loss had been exaggerated, O'Leary claimed that 20 million Burmese would be living in Britain were it not for their brutal regime and of these, 15 million would holiday in Poland or Lithuania each year at a profit of £20 each to Ryanair. "Did I mention our low fares?" he added.

Allegations of self-interest have meanwhile been raised, with rumours abounding that Ryanair are seeking to fly passengers into Burma and bus them across an entire continent to Rome in order to avoid expensive landing rights at Rome's main airport.
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