Cameron: "BHS is safe in my hands"
4 Oct 2006 by Peter Cameron
David Cameron today announced that protecting the popular BHS chain of high street stores would be his main priority if the Conservatives form the next government. Keen clothes shoppers and fans of home furnishing breathed a sigh of relief as Cameron announced, "Tony Blair explained his priorities in three words: education, education, education. I can do mine in three letters: BHS." Cameron went on to confirm that he would increase government funding for the organisation, citing the creation of the chain of stores as "one of the Twentieth Century's greatest achievements".After the speech, delegates in the conference hall claimed that the criticisms at Cameron's lack of policies should now stop. One Tory MP commented, "His support for BHS proves that Cameron is clearly not a man obsessed with style and image."
Cameron can regularly be spotted at his local BHS branch at weekends, and has reportedly tried to convince members of his shadow cabinet to buy more clothes from the stores. Last year, during an interview with David Dimbleby, Cameron famously revealed how he was bullied at Eton for insisting on wearing BHS clothing rather than the more customary designer labels of his fellow students. "I loved those BHS plimsolls," Cameron said, "even if they did mean I received a black eye in the playground every lunchtime."
On other issues, Cameron announced that the National Health Service would be sold off for scrap metal and Boris Johnson is to be put forward for sainthood.
