IRA 'nice people to do business with'
4 Oct 2006 by Andy Tilbrook
Former Republican terrorists in Northern Ireland are turning their hands to pottery and jam-making, the Independent Monitoring Commission said today. Confirming that the IRA was no longer involved in terrorism, chairman of the IMC, Lord Douglas Ramsbottom, said he had been surprised at the lengths that former trained killers had gone to."We came across examples of IRA members helping old ladies (Catholic only, of course) across the road. In our submission, they are now officially nice people," he said.
However, he scotched rumours that the IRA is to set up a chain of florist shops across the Province.
Northern Ireland Secretary Peter Hain said: "We have thought for some time that the IRA is nice and we are very excited that the Commission has confirmed this view. I will be inviting their leaders over to Stormont for tea and scones within the next few days."
In a separate announcement, the IRA announced it would be holding multilateral talks with another prominent Irish institution. If the talks are successful, it could lead to the formation of the Irish Republican Women's Institute, a spokesman said.
