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11th February
Updated from time to time

Fox News to broadcast 'news'

Fox News, the American television channel alleged by some to contain material of a contemporary factual nature, is to break new ground by copying an idea seen on other 'news' channels. An innovative strand, known simply as 'the news', will include factual reports from journalists based in a variety of locations – including outside the US – about current events. In a major departure for the channel, the reports will be told 'straight', without any hint of bias, bile or comedy.

"This is new for us," said a Fox spokesman. "We have a fantastic reputation around the world for our spoof news and satire programming – we're like The Daily Show for conservatives – but we've never done straight news before."

The channel's new project is, however, only a pilot. "We don't know how this will work out without the jokes," the spokesman added. "We'll be monitoring audience reaction live, and if they don't like it we'll have features on liberals wanting to kill babies and climate change being invented by al Qaeda to go to. Just in case."

The Murdoch-owned channel is currently attracting controversy after planning to show an OJ Simpson interview with the working title 'How to kill people (not that I ever have)'. The interview and associated book have now been cancelled on the grounds that they were a stupid idea.
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