MPs investigated over dining rooms misuse

28 Dec 2006

More than 20 MPs are being investigated over the misuse of House of Commons dining rooms, DeadBrain has learned. The rooms can be booked by MPs for events, but there are strict rules governing what they can be used for. A free drinking binge is permissible, for example, but fundraising for charities or political parties is not. Events must also not bring the Commons into disrepute.

The Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards is now looking at a number of cases, including:

The All-Party Female Mud Wrestling Appreciation Group's annual general meeting, which descended into a messy farce when Ann Widdecombe turned up. The clean-up bill came to several thousand pounds.
A reception held by a society of Christian MPs, during which several oil paintings were damaged by flying children's toys. The society has promised not to invite the Bishop of Southwark back.
The widespread offence which was caused when Lembit Opik invited the Cheeky Girls to perform. Some staff are still receiving counselling.
Boris Johnson's annual raspberry jelly dinner, which literally spilled over into an adjourning room being used by a delegation of foreign ministers.
John Prescott's inaugural vicars and tarts party, which was attended by the Bishop of Southwark on his way home from the Christian society's reception. Mr Prescott has denied mugging him and bundling him into the back of one of his Jaguars.
The regular use of Dining Room B by the Liberal Democrat high command for Sir Menzies Campbell to have his afternoon nap and watch Countdown. Security guards have been ordered to stop anyone carrying a tartan blanket towards the dining rooms.