News · Satire · Spoof · Parody · Humour · Menzies Campbell
30th July
Updated from time to time

New tidal wave of immigration wiping out Britain's culture

A cold winter evening in an eastern European marketplace. Wrapped in shapeless clothes, blankets and headscarves against the bitter wind, women shuffle from stall to stall, inspecting the cabbages, potatoes, turnips, Kalashnikovs and cabbages on offer. It could be a scene from any of the former Communist bloc countries, but for the purposes of this article, it's a small town in Romania. Or Bulgaria.

Their layers of clothing, their pinched faces, their runny noses, all betoken a life of grinding deprivation as they inspect the meagre goods. Most of the people here are so badly off they have no chance of affording supermarket microwaveable ready meals and are instead forced to purchase their fruit and vegetables straight from local farmers. They hand over the few coins which probably constitute their life savings and hurry away again, in all likelihood to pluck grass to supplement the thin soup they will prepare for their many offspring. No doubt exactly the same scene can be observed anywhere across this snow-swept country.

Yet one wonders how long this marketplace will look like this, now that Bulgaria and Romania are part of that conspiracy to end national self-determination known to some as the European Union. With membership comes the automatic right of all 30 million people in these poverty-stricken and corrupt countries to move to the UK and blot out our distinctive culture and way of life. They do not even need to hang on to the undercarriage of a lorry like they used to.

What should we in Britain expect? Experts paid by this newspaper predict a huge influx of immigrants, coming to join the criminal elements already living in this country illegally. And this is hot on the heels of the 23 million immigrants who flocked to the UK in the wake of the last round of enlargement. Nobody can have failed to notice how the arrival of these Polish and Czechoslovenian dole-scroungers has forced thousands, if not millions, of honest British plumbers and carpenters out of work, or at least into crippling price cuts.

The Home Office is playing down the risk, but no one these days believes anything it says. Britain is well known as the number one destination for economic migrants. Its generous unemployment benefit, luxurious council flats, clean streets, open borders, namby-pamby liberal judiciary, fine weather and cheap cider make it a magnet for economic migrants, especially those living in Eastern Europe, where the cost of living far outstrips the means of everyone except those involved in organised crime.

Unofficial figures made up by this newspaper put the average wage in Bucharest at 15p a month, while whisky in one of the city's five-star hotels was charged to expenses at a rate of £17.62 (plus tax) a glass. Small wonder, then, that every able-bodied and literate adult under the age of 90 is already filling out UK social security application forms. The Romanian and Bulgarian governments estimate their countries' populations could shrink by 110% or more.

Yet this is only the beginning of the horror. Amongst the millions currently checking the availability of Ryanair flights from Plovdiv to Stansted are literally hundreds of thousands of burglars, pickpockets, car thieves, paedophiles, credit card fraudsters and beggars. Criminality and corruption are part of the culture in these countries, in every profession and social class, from the lowliest shoplifter to the prime minister himself (currently under police investigation for secretly accepting undeclared loans in return for favours). It is firmly believed that approximately 96.54% of all crime committed in the UK can already be attributed to organised gangs from Eastern Europe. This number could easily double in the next year. The threat to our own home-grown crime industry can hardly be underestimated.

When asked if she was planning to go to the UK and steal, one Romanian woman just edged away, eyeing this reporter suspiciously and muttering in her sinister-sounding language. Such an attitude is typical. Yet our own police are powerless to do anything about it.

In the face of such an onslaught, is there any way to preserve the our glorious island nation's most treasured values - decency, pragmatism, common sense, tolerance - before the invading hordes? The stark answer is no. As we go through 2007, there can be only one thought in the mind of every proud and patriotic Briton: God help us all.

Reprinted from The Daily Hate Mail © December 2006
AddThis Feed Button AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Comment | Print | Send to a friend
DeadBrain Offbeat: Strange but true news
Satire on your mobile phone


DeadBrain... Search... Login...