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11th February
Updated from time to time

Minister criticised for sending children to state school

The former Education Secretary, Ruth Kelly, is facing sustained criticism after it emerged that she sends two of her children to a state school. Ms Kelly, who is now the cabinet minister responsible for a large part of what used to be John Prescott, sent all three of her children to state schools until she discovered that one of them had "educational needs".

A number of Labour MPs, including Cabinet colleagues thought to include the remainder of John Prescott, were disapproving of Ms Kelly. "Given her previous job she should know how god-awful state schools are," one said. "How could she send her own children there? She's not fit to be a mother."

"I heard they were full of poor people and gypsies," added another New Labour MP. "You know, the sort of people you have to put up with around election time. I hope she washes the poor kids when they get home, they must be filthy."

However, Ms Kelly defended her decision. "Having a parent who is a Cabinet minister necessarily means that my children have a different life to most, but I want them to have the same experiences as other children in Tower Hamlets," she said. "If I had sent them all to a private school instead then they might never have learnt how to conceal a weapon, hide from the truancy patrols or steal vodka from Tesco."

"These are all vital life skills for today's youth," she added, "and I wouldn't want them to miss out."
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