Jade Goody gets Oscar nomination for apology
23 Jan 2007 by Sir Charles Cheese-Cake
Alleged vile racist Jade Goody has been nominated for an Academy Award in the best actress category at this year's Oscars. Goody, who spent weeks 'in character' as a member of the Ku Klux Klan whilst inside the Big Brother house, goes head to head with Britain's only three actresses – Dame Judi Dench, Dame Helen Mirren and Almost-Certainly-Soon-to-be-Made-a-Dame Kate Winslet – for the coveted gong on 25 February.Goody, who regularly campaigns for the re-introduction of slavery and the marking of Hitler's birthday as a national holiday, was said to be delighted at the publicity she'll no doubt get from the nomination. The bigoted chav was unavailable to give any insightful comments as she was attending a BNP rally, although someone claiming to be her friend was quoted as perhaps saying:
"She's suicidal, although she wouldn't actually kill herself. I'm sure this news will cheer my multi-millionaire friend up a bit."
Reports have emerged in the past few days that Goody may have considered taking her own life by killing herself until she wasn't alive anymore. A chemist in Bootle alleged to DeadBrain that the xenophobic celebrity entered his shop but left empty-handed after racially abusing him:
"I think she may have wanted a bottle of paracetamol," said the man, who describes himself as Asian and 'a practising chemist', "but she couldn't pronounce it so she said a few racialist type-things in my direction and left."
