Kate Moss 'reaches size zero'
17 Mar 2007 by Alex
Supermodel Kate moss today sparked fresh controversy in the entertainment world when it emerged that she has achieved her long-time target of becoming 'size zero'.Making the announcement via her official website, Ms Moss, 33, could barely hide her excitement at following in the footsteps of luminaries such as Naomi Campbell and Mariah Carey. "It's been a long and difficult journey, but I am proud to say that today all the sacrifices I have made to get here are finally worth it!"
In an official statement the British Psychological Institute confirmed recent testing had verified that the supermodel's IQ had reached exactly 0. "What concerns us most is that she is a role model for thousands of young girls, who in the name of fashion will attempt to emulate Ms Moss by losing as much intelligence as they can until their intellect has no weight whatsoever," said Dr Sigmund Ramsbotham.
"All over the country teenage girls will be sticking their fingers down their ears in school classes, taking dangerous quantities of illegal intelligence-loss drugs, and dumping their interesting and stimulating boyfriends like Johnny Depp in order to surround themselves with total morons like Pete Doherty."
He urged parents to be on the look out for the telltale signs of excessive intelligence loss such as a distorted image of Babyshambles being anything other than complete toss, discarded packets of Heat magazine, and unusually frequent trips to the toilet at mealtimes when MTV gets turned off in favour of the news.
An unrepentant Moss was later quoted as saying "mmmwwaaaarrghh... bllerrruuu...nnntikiki" before wandering off to watch Loose Women on ITV.
