Browne signs serialisation deal with Telegraph after 'harrowing' week
16 Apr 2007 by Glory Sergei
The Defence Secretary, Des Browne, is poised to reveal details of his mauling at the hands of radicalised newspaper editors in a frank and moving interview with the Daily Telegraph.Insiders claim Browne will tell how he: NEARLY CRIED when his interrogators suggested he might be a bit rubbish; GOT A BIT TEARY when pal Tony Blair said he was alright really; and FEARED HE WOULD NEVER SEE HIS CHILDREN AGAIN, briefly, in a dream he had several years ago.
Telegraph boss Will Lewis has also convinced him to recount the terrifying moment when burly Chancellor Gordon Brown snatched away his iPod, muttering darkly: "(Och) what in God's name is this bagpipe-like contraption (wee) Desmond?"
Precise details of the coup are sketchy at present but it is understood that The Times and AutoTrader failed to secure the minister's story with bids of £650,000 and £200 o.n.o. respectively.
Sources close to Browne defended his decision to cash in on his torment while other MPs and ministers still face death and dismemberment practically daily at the hands of fanatical relatives of 80s rock legend Bryan Ferry.
"Ministers of the Crown are notoriously underpaid... it's only fair that they supplement their meagre incomes by selling their stories, getting their wives to embark on lucrative lecture tours of the US or accepting interest-free loans from the paymaster general," said one confidant.
