Thousands have fit at new Olympic logo
6 Jun 2007
Thousands of people have had fits after seeing the new logo for the London 2012 Olympics. The logo was initially thought to have been the losing entry in the under-fives category of a Blue Peter competition, but to universal surprise it was revealed to have been designed by alleged professionals at a cost of £400,000. It has been condemned by all design experts everywhere as "crap".
Douglas Ramsbottom, an intermediate user of Microsoft Paint, fell off his chair and began frothing at the mouth after seeing the logo in his newspaper. "It's awful," he told DeadBrain. "I wouldn't call myself an artist, but I've vomited more attractive pieces of design than that."Brenda Shuttleworth, a Grimsby pensioner who once used a wax crayon, fell over theatrically when she saw the logo on television. "I burst three blood vessels and broke a hip," she said. "I'm going to sue the Olympic Delivery Authority for everything they've got."
Greg Mullet, an occasional viewer of Rolf Harris programmes and a fan of 'Morph', also plans to sue the ODA. "When I saw the logo I spat out my coffee on my keyboard, causing my computer to explode with the loss of weeks of work and a lot of very good porn," he said.
"The explosion caused a fire which spread to my curtains, my eyebrows and the whole of the downstairs of my house. I ran outside and fell over a poodle, twisting my ankle. I was then run over by the fire engine attending the fire in my house. When I was taken to hospital I contracted MRSA and was bitten by a poisonous spider hiding in the grapes my mother brought me."
"I think I've got a very clear case against London 2012," he added, "and I want compensation."
A spokesman for London 2012 said that it did not accept responsibility for any distress caused by the logo. He added that from next week a disclaimer will appear next to it whenever it is used advising parents and those with any taste to exercise caution.
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