Complete works of Shakespeare banned following killing spree
22 Jun 2007 by Paul Tanter
The British Board of Classification has banned the complete works of William Shakespeare, following a manic family killing spree by a teenager who had witnessed several of the Bard's plays.Schoolboy Douglas Ramsbottom, 16, was said to be "obsessed" with the works of the playwright, which include scenes of sex, mutilation and murder, including patricide, stabbings and poisoning.
Ramsbottom, said by friends to be a loner, reportedly killed fourteen people only hours after watching King Lear, followed by an abridged version of Hamlet. Ramsbottom plotted to kill his stepfather, stabbed a man through a curtain, tied an uncle to a chair and gouged his eyes out, before poisoning a vat of wine that was served at a family party. Nearly everyone, including Ramsbottom, died.
One of the few surviving members of the family, Horatio, 24, told DeadBrain, "He would spend hours watching and reading these incredibly violent plays. We tried to encourage him to do the things normal kids do, like play Manhunt 2, but he was more interested in this violent filth. I'm glad they've seen common sense and are banning the lot before anyone else gets hurt."
A government spokesman said that Shakespeare would be replaced on the school syllabus by Harry Potter and, for younger children, the films of Quentin Tarantino.
