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28th April
Updated from time to time

News channels scramble to cover Campbell resignation

News organisations have tonight scrambled to cover the most exciting breaking news story since Sir Menzies Campbell was appointed leader of the Liberal Democrats; namely, Sir Menzies Campbell resigning as leader of the Liberal Democrats.

Reports suggest that the political earthquake caused by Mr Campbell's departure has caused tremors as far away from Westminster as St James's Park. DeadBrain's sources say that the sense of shock being felt across the country extends even to Buckingham Palace, where it is thought that the Queen may be considering her position. A close confidant of Her Majesty, described by our correspondent as being small and hairy with four legs, said that she was struggling to comprehend life without the leader of Britain's third party.

The sense of drama was most keenly felt at the BBC, which chose to broadcast the announcement of Mr Campbell's resignation in black and white to better convey the mood of the nation. All four of its remaining staff, including the new Blue Peter kitten, were immediately deployed to cover the story.

Sky News has meanwhile been rolling with live helicopter pictures of Mr Campbell's nursing home. As a result the evening showing of Emmerdale was cancelled and several residents are now convinced that the Germans are about to invade.

Peculiarly among international news channels, Fox News has chosen not to cover the story at length and placed it third down its running order, reflecting the organisation's inherent bias and skewed news values.

Other news channels have, however, been reporting Mr Campbell's resignation. CNN has been interviewing its correspondents at length, Al Jazeera has been assessing the potential impact on American foreign policy, while France 24 is claiming that dozens of French farmers are blockading Calais with tractors in protest.

Newspaper editors contacted by DeadBrain have said that they have cleared their pages tomorrow for extensive coverage of Mr Campbell's resignation, with many choosing to focus on its potentially disastrous impact on financial markets around the world.
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